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First, the easy part, embracing teasing from friends. Last week I came under a united international attack from my office colleagues. Two women from North Korea, two from South Korea, and one from South Africa started calling me a "baby" because I eat only what I want to eat. "That's right," I said. "You can call me a baby. You know why? Who says things like 'what an ugly baby' or 'that's a bad baby.' If you say such things about a baby, then do you know what? You're a bad person!"
Laughing, one of the North Korean refugees said she had never seen such a big baby in her life. "That's right," I said. "Have you ever seen such a big beautiful baby? That's what the nurses said when I was born, and people have been saying it about me ever since."
A bit later, I did confess that I'm not as handsome as I used to be. They thought they had me cornered by asking when I stopped being handsome. My response? "Last year. I also said the same thing the previous five or so years, and it turned out that I was wrong every time. I could be wrong again."
One of the North Korean refugees didn't give up. She had learned the word "arrogant" when we worked together on her book and later said it about me. Any English that I teach her becomes a boomerang flying back at my head, but I know how to duck. I told her that she is right, I am arrogant, and she should be thankful that I am. Only a wonderful arrogant man would take an unknown person like her and write a book with her.
It is easy to handle playful insults from friends. How do I deal with real critics? I quote Voltaire. "I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it."
I don't engage with them. Why should I stop my wonderful drive
through life to engage with some barking dogs chasing my car?
I have learned that some people resent that I work directly with marginalized people. Apparently they can't believe that I am focused on increasing opportunities or empowering them to share their voices. Two decades ago, I was forwarded an email from an activist in Washington, D.C., advising parents to stay away from me because I was a "dangerous man." When I met the activist, I asked her for a written statement calling me dangerous. She made me sound so cool.
During that same time period, I was driving one day when I heard a radio talk show host criticize me for a full hour. At first, it was amusing to hear him ranting about me as "an enemy of black people." Then I panicked. I had to get to a Radio Shack so I could buy a voice recorder. I called the show to confirm I indeed had the power to destroy entire cities by informing low-income parents about possible education choices for their children.
My incredible powers work on the Korean Peninsula, too. Shortly after I got involved with activism for North Korean refugees, I heard scuttlebutt that I might be a CIA agent. I couldn't think of a better compliment for myself and a grand insult for the CIA to have my volunteer work compared with that of highly paid and trained international security agents.
I even took it as a compliment when some of the defenders of North Korea accused me of brainwashing refugees. My alleged brainwashing is even better than that of the mighty North Korean regime. North Koreans risk their lives to get out of North Korea, they find my organization, they apply, go through an interview, then they wait for a chance to join us. Apparently, those critics aren't doing anything that could save those allegedly helpless North Korean refugees from me.
They get brainwashed because we connect them with English-speaking volunteers? While I have been allegedly brainwashing almost 500 North Korean refugees who have studied in our organization, have the 1,200 volunteers stood by without intervening? Are they and our staff (of North Korean refugees and South Koreans) all part of the CIA's scheme?
I laugh at the critics, but I may need to unblock some of the fools in SNS so I can share this column with them. They need to know that laughter was part of my intense training as a CIA agent.
Casey Lartigue Jr. is co-author along with Song-mi Han of the book, "Greenlight to Freedom," and co-founder along with Eun-koo Lee of Freedom Speakers International (FSI).