Why North Korean defectors learn English (7)

Taeyeon (her name has been changed at her request) escaped from North Korea in 2017 and arrived in South Korea in 2018. She is a student in the Teach North Korean Refugees program, and was interviewed at the TNKR office by co-founder Casey Lartigue and her comments were translated by Eunkoo Lee also a TNKR co-founder.

Casey Lartigue: You mentioned the other day that English has been your biggest adjustment challenge in South Korea. Could you explain in a bit more detail about what you meant?

Taeyeon: English is a big problem! South Korean friends seem to be surprised that North Korean refugees struggle so much because of English. South Koreans add so much English to their conversations, so it can be really confusing. We will be talking in Korean, then suddenly, an English word is added. Nobody stops to explain what the word means; it seems that everyone already knows. Sometimes I'm not sure if it is a Korean word I don't know or if it an English word in Korean. Then my friends wonder why I don't understand. I'm not the only one. North Korean refugee friends I met after we went through Hanawon together often talk about English causing them so much trouble.

Lartigue: You mentioned before that you didn't take English seriously at first, but then you began to focus on it to survive in South Korea. What was that key moment you realized you had to focus on English?

Taeyeon: I applied to a university, but so much of the exam was in English that I gave up. I was sitting there, I knew I couldn't answer the questions. I realized I wasn't able to do it, so I just walked out. I felt defeated at that moment, but it woke me up to the reality that if I didn't learn English I would not be able to take advantage of my freedom here. When I was walking out, I told myself that I had to master English. I applied for another university, and was happy at the time when I realized that I didn't need English as part of the application process. I passed the exam, and was so happy! But I was still concerned about English.

Lartigue: Congratulations, you got in! That is not so easy after being here for such a short time. But I've heard that many South Korean universities now use English in classes and that it is often required as part of graduation requirements, so how are you doing?

Taeyeon: It is hell sometimes. I am facing the reality of English in my classes. Lectures, discussions, textbooks, English is everywhere. And it isn't just in my classes. Some senior students showed us a video, there was so much English in it, I couldn't understand all in it. So of course in the conversation later and when others referred back to the video, I couldn't participate in the discussion. We took a field trip together, but I couldn't understand even basic English. I was the only one who didn't understand and I could see that others were shocked that I knew so little. In every day conversation or when I read the newspaper or when I see street signs, English is everywhere in South Korea.

Lartigue: I also heard you mention that you learned lessons from the process of learning English.

Taeyeon: Yes! One thing I learned from my struggle with English is that my choices can have consequences if I choose poorly or don't do research. After I got out of Hanawon, a friend recommended a program where they teach English to North Korean refugees. I didn't think about it deeply, I thought that anyone could teach English and I could learn. I studied with them for four months, but I didn't feel like I was learning much. For some reason the teachers kept talking to us in Korean. Even the Western teachers who didn't speak Korean very well were trying to use Korean. I learned Chinese without anyone ever using Korean with me, so I believe I can learn English without anyone using Korean to teach me. It might sound so simple to people who grew up with the freedom of many choices, but in North Korea I don't remember having the freedom to choose. This is the first time I have had so many choices in my life. Now I try different things at once, and I continue with the one that seems the best.

Lartigue: Could you be a bit more specific about that?

Taeyeon: Sure! I began watching people who could speak English, and I was trying to find out how they learned it. Then I saw one of the friends I met when I was in Hanawon speaking English. At Hanawon, she didn't know the alphabet, but there she was suddenly using English. We started at the same level at the same time, so it seemed like a miracle to me. I asked her what happened, she mentioned TNKR, so I applied. Thank you for accepting me. Studying one-to-one with my tutors has made such a big difference in my learning. With one-on-one, I can ask without feeling embarrassed. When I studied in group classes at other institutes, I was lost so often. The others were ahead of me, and I was embarrassed. Teachers would pay more attention to the high achievers, and with every class I felt left behind.

Lartigue: So overall, and besides English, how has your adjustment been?

Taeyeon: Yes, besides English! Except English, everything else is great in South Korea! I can feel freedom everywhere. I can study or work if I want. In North Korea, I had to follow government rules; they control so many aspects of the lives of North Korean citizens. I didn't realize I had didn't have freedom until I came here, things in North Korea are just the way they are supposed to be. Here, if I want to change my hairstyle, I can do it, I don't need anyone's permission and I don't need to hide when I see the police coming. Even if I want to change my eyes or lips, I have the freedom to do it here although some people will criticize others who do it. Finally, this is my head. If you can ignore critics and netizens, you can do what you want in South Korea. In North Korea, the critics can try to get you arrested or punished.

Lartigue: A few months ago I interviewed former North Korean propagandist Jang Jin-sung, author of "Dear Reader." He said an important thing about helping North Korean refugees adjust is helping them gain confidence in themselves as humans. He said that English is one way that refugees can gain confidence in themselves, because gaining the skill of speaking English enables them to interact with anyone in the world.

Taeyeon: That is really a great point. Last year, I really hated when people asked me, "Where are you from?" Maybe I was a fish in water when I was in North Korea, I don't remember if people asked that question often. But here, it seems that people constantly ask that question. I hated it because I didn't have confidence and I felt like a loser. I still have an accent and people can sense it. I am learning so many things here, I really feel that I was cheated by North Korea. I never used a computer when I was in North Korea, and here people throw them away if they aren't superfast. It was a new feeling when I made a PowerPoint presentation by myself, when I could express my own thoughts and disagree with others. I am constantly investigating things, there is so much this world has to offer. I can read the pros and cons about almost any issue, instead of having to repeat what others want me to learn. Now I am free from North Korea and I can try them for myself. I believe in myself; that was not possible in North Korea where you are expected to only believe in the leader of the country.

Casey Lartigue Jr., co-founder of the Teach North Korean Refugees Global Education Center, was the 2017 winner of the "Social Contribution" Prize from the Hansarang Rural Cultural Foundation and the winner of the Global Award from Challenge Korea 2017. Eunkoo Lee, the translator, is also a co-founder of TNKR.